Not for Dad's Eyes. Or Mom's.

Aherm...note to any dude readers or those who may embarrass easily, DO NOT read further. Just know that my dad may or may not have seen something that was not for his eyes. The End. But if you're cool with all things that we'll term, bedroom fun, then please read on. -Management



People, I am a 32 year old single woman. Have been for many, many years now. (Like forever.) I enjoy my single life, yet, I am still a woman, and I still have certain, um, needs that must be satisfied. While I haven't gone too crazy with it, I do have a few certain, um, toys, that I have acquired. There. I said it.

Being a single woman LIVING ALONE, I don't always feel the need to put things away in my bedroom. I mean, really. Who is going to be in there? Right? Right. So, one of said toys may or may not have been laying out in plain sight. Yeah.

So, today I get a text message from my mom saying that they were at my house working on the air conditioning. Up until now, I've been able to deal with the heat. Now that it's getting very HOT and very HUMID, I want to be comfortable. So, long story short, my air conditioning wasn't working, and my dad was fixing it. I knew this would be happening. I did not know this would be happening today.

My mom told me that the air was fixed and did I want it left on? Yes, I thought, wait, no. That would mean that they would have to go into my bedroom to close the windows. Bad idea. So, I told her no, I would turn it on later and that's that.

Ten minutes later, I get another text that they were leaving it on and they shut the windows in my bedroom. Shit. I responded with, I told you I didn't want it on. She asked why. I said because there were things in my bedroom that I didn't want them to see. My mom still wasn't getting it. UGH. She said, that she didn't see anything and that she shut the window by my closet and my dad shut the window above my bed.

Great, mom, I said. That means Dad's the one that saw my bedroom toy. Awesome.

She insisted that he would have told her if he saw something and that he probably wouldn't know what it was anyway. RIGHT. Sure. I believe that.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. Um, yeah.

At first I was mortified. Now, I'm thinking that maybe they'll listen to me when I ask them to or not to do something.

11 comments:

Mommy Mo said...

I'll say it again- F'ILAROUS!!!!!

Kirsten said...

Maybe they have learned their lesson! LOL! And just because you're single doesn't mean that you're the only one. IJS.

Midwest Mommy said...

I can't stop laughing.

Heather D said...

Like Kirsten said, toys aren't just for single ladies!
OMG. Dying. Yeah, happy father's day! Ha ha ha.

Bacardi Mama said...

This is too funny.

~Mendie~ said...

Oh my gosh that is funny! I would have been mortified too...hopefully he didn't see it...if he did I'm sure he's trying to blur the image from his mind.

hehe....yeah I'm sure 95% of us have something like that in our bedroom so carry on girlie!

Oh and happy birthday again...hope 32 is a great year and we can cross paths sometime!

*Lissa* said...

Hilarious. And mortifying! Ditto Kirsten and Heather!

Audrey said...

ROFLMAO. Love it. And ditto the other married hookers. You should see the stash I have! ;)

imadramamama said...

OMG, I was going to leave a comment for April but after reading everyone else's comments I realize that I associate with a bunch of flippin' hussies...

Brooke said...

that's hilarious!!! he'll probably never be able to look at you in the eyes again! :P

Heather of the EO said...

oh my...

now that? is hilarious and I'm sure, mortifying.

Oh my...

I can't stop laughing either. oh my...

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