Never Run Out of the Unscented Kind

Attention dude readers and/or those that possibly embarrass easily! The following post is about things we girls call that time of the month and products used during that time of the month. Consider yourself warned.

As a kid, I had horrible allergies. You name it, I was most likely allergic to it. This included all things scented. As I got older, I became immune to most of my allergies, including the "all things scented" ones. Or so I thought.

A few months ago, I grabbed a box of tampons not knowing that I had grabbed the scented ones. (Lesson 1: Read the box before purchase.) Once I realized they were scented, I didn't think TOO much about it, and things were okay.

The following month, that pesky little visitor reared her ugly head at my door, and I again used the scented tampons. I realized, then, that the scented tampons, um, bothered me, I guess is the best way to put it. So, I headed to Target, got unscented ones, and all was well again. I put the scented ones away instead of throwing them away because, ya know, I paid good money for those things and they shouldn't go to waste. SOMEONE may need them.

Enter today. I was going about my morning routine of stumbling out of the bed, to the shower, and stumbling out of the shower (I really should get up earlier and drink coffee before I shower.), and then I realized that I was out of the unscented tampons. All I had were the scented ones.

Imagine this. I'm standing in my bathroom trying to decide whether to chance the scented ones just long enough to get to work and get one of those horrible ones from the bathroom, OR chance an accident. Yes, I actually thought about chancing it with nothing. That's how uncomfortable these things make me. I decided to chance it with the scented ones.

Have you ever witnessed, Flo angry? I mean sure, she gets pouty and grumpy and gives you cramps and bloats you and makes you want chocolate so bad that if you don't get chocolate, heads will roll, but have you seriously really seen her angry?

People, she breathed fired today. Flo decided that since I was going to ignore her refusal of scented tampons, she was going to give me hell. She whined. She bitched. She moaned. And she breathed fire on me ALL DAY LONG. I'm still in pain.

How much do you want to bet I never run out of unscented tampons again?

Dear Flo, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'll give you chocolate.

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My Life Began at Thirty

When I talk to people and hear about their past experiences, such as, getting married, having kids, taking vacations, traveling through Europe, experiencing the world, it sometimes makes me sad. Or not really sad, just a little bit out of sorts, I guess is a better way to put it. It makes me realize just how much I HAVEN'T done in my life.

I've never been out of the country. I've only been to a handful of states. Hang on-17 states to be exact. And if I'm being totally honest, I've spent most of my life sitting right here in this city.

If I let myself think on this too much, I could very easily get down on myself for being the scared little girl that I was for so very long. For letting others manipulate what I do and how I think and feel. Sometimes I still do get down on myself.

I think about those years where I let others have such power over me. I used to think myself as weak, but now I realize that I was lost and just begging to be found. I feel very lucky that I didn't let those people truly find me.

I used to regret decisions that I made. I would have so much guilt inside of me that I would literally make myself sick.

I realize now that I was on a path to self discovery. And along the way, while others that I cherish so deeply in my heart now were finding me, I was also finding myself. I realized how very cool the person I found was. (Okay, well, she's a bit oversensitive, but we can't be perfect, right?)

Choices I make now are rarely seen as a regret or laced with guilt. No matter the outcome, every experience in my life happens for a reason. Good or bad, things happen and experiencing these things in life is how we grow. How we learn more about ourselves.

Recently, I took my two year old nephew to the grocery store, and it reminded me of how new to this world he still is. Every day, he learns, and experiences something new and exudes such joy at these new experiences. It's amazing to witness.

Then, I realized that I'm not so different than my nephew. Since discovering who I am, I feel like I'm a brand new person. Just like him. I feel like my life began at thirty. I see the world through such wide eyes, and while some things are extremely disappointing, I realize what a wonderful planet we live on. (We should take better care of it.) How beautiful people can be.

I'm not in the middle of my life. I'm in the beginning of my life, and it's a wonderful place to be.

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Is THIS What Happens at 32?!

I realize that there comes a time as you get older when things just happen. You get more hairs on your chin, staying up late is like 11 p.m., and OMG, did I tell you guys that I found a GREY HAIR yesterday? (Pulled that sucker out.) There is one thing though, that I've decided just magically happens when you turn 32. (Please don't disagree with me on this. It'll kill my day. Seriously.)

I KNOW I used to bitch and moan about always being carded for alcohol. I know that even in my 20's I looked 12, and carding me was necessary, and I SHOULDN'T have been offended. I stupidly was. And I get that as you get older or frequent certain places where you know the waiters/bartenders, carding also isn't going to happen as much. But I swear to you, it's like I turned 32, and I haven't been carded since. (Okay, maybe I've been carded once, but still.)

What the hell? Do I just magically all of a sudden LOOK old? I get that 32 may be ancient when you're 15 and working in a grocery store, but come on, make a woman's day, will you?

I'm just going to be honest, if you're checking me out, and don't ask me for my ID, I'm going to give it to you anyway. And if I'm in the self check out, I may just waive my ID until you come check it.

I seriously had no idea that this would bother me. People warned me. I laughed at them. And here I am offended every time I don't get carded. So, there's a lesson here for all you youngins out there. Don't be offended when you get carded. You're going to turn 32 one day, too.

Now, if you'll excuse me...I'ma go have a beer. *sniff*

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