I have gotten into a very, very bad habit of not sleeping. I can go days on little sleep or restless sleep. I’m not proud of this. I know that sleep is needed and helps in weight loss. For various reasons, I have a really hard time turning my mind off. Some of these reasons are silly, some of them are amusing, and some of them just piss me off. So, without further adieu, here are the reasons that I don’t sleep.

I don’t sleep the night before tailgates. I’m so excited to go to football games or races that I just can’t stand it.

Same goes the night before a trip. Trip = no sleep.

If I’m upset or have a problem, I will sometimes stay awake all night trying to find a solution.

I used to sleep on Tuesday nights, but now, I don’t because I’m so excited, anxious, and nervous about Weigh-In Day. I’m anxious and nervous about how I did, and excited to see how everyone else did.

I don’t sleep on Wednesday nights because I can’t stop thinking about the TV show LOST. Every episode leaves me trying to figure out what the heck is going on. I’m glad next year is the last season of this show. I’d like my life back.

Thursday nights I sleep. It’s amazing what a few beers at bowling will do. Problem with Thursday nights is I don’t get home until midnight.

If I get a new video game or gadget, you can absolutely forget sleep. “Just five more minutes” ends up being two more hours.

If I get a new season of Stargate, I find myself saying “just one more episode”. Next thing you know, it’s past 2.

Some nights I do fall asleep and then my neighbors’ cat decides to sing to the moon at 3 AM. I love animals, but I hate that cat.

And sometimes if I get my hands on a good book, I just can’t put it down. I stayed up all night reading the last Harry Potter book. (This I’m quite proud of for some reason.)

So, you get the picture. :o)

My friend, Lisa is blogging here today and she's started something called Tasteful Thursday, so I'm going to play along and give you my favorite recipe.

Spinach Dip

Source: I first tasted this at a food day at work, and asked the girl for the recipe. I then found that I liked it better if I changed the recipe a bit.

Ingredients:

1 (10 oz.) pkg. frozen chopped spinach, thawed (be sure to squeeze it dry!)
1 c. sour cream
1 c. mayonnaise
1 (4 oz.) pkg. Knorr vegetable soup mix (or any vegetable soup mix will do, but this is my favorite)
1 (8 oz.) can water chestnuts, finely chopped (optional)
3 green onions, finely chopped (optional)

Put everything in a bowl and mix it up! Let it chill for at least 2 hours. Serve with your favorite type of crackers or bread. Enjoy!

My modifications:

When you follow the recipe, it tends to make the dip a little more, let's say soupy, than I prefer. So I use 1/2 cup sour cream and mayo to make the dip thicker. I would suggest adding the 1/2 cups and if you decide that's too thick for you, just the rest like the recipe calls for. Also, I don't use water chestnuts or the onions. It's just a personal thing.

Note: To make this a bit healthier, I've started using light mayo and non-fat sour cream. I know some of you may not like these healthier options, but I've found that you really can't taste a difference. I tried this out on a bunch of guys at a tailgate and they didn't even notice. Sneaky, April. ;o)

It’s weigh-in #5 (it is #5, right?) for the Looking Fine for Valentine’s challenge over at the Sisterhood. I have no clue how this weigh-in is going to go. I’m so close to reaching the next set of tens, but when it comes to weight loss, sometimes, so close can be still very far away. I FEEL pretty good about the week. I worked hard to make sure that my one super bad day didn’t hurt the rest of my week. But you just never know. So, that said, drum roll please:

Last week’s weight: 151.0
This week’s weight: 149.4

I swear I didn’t think I read that right, so I got off the scales, waited a few seconds, and got back on the scales. Yep. That’s what it said. Man, I can’t even tell you my level of excitement right now!! The 140’s! I haven’t seen this weight in, years! YEARS! And you know what? I’m proud of myself. I don’t say or think that nearly enough but I am. I’m very proud of myself! You know, this thing called weight-loss isn’t something I love. I know, you’re shocked. But I LOVE the results. That’s all you have to do…find what you just love about all of this and let that be your motivation! Sometimes you're going to fall off the wagon and sometimes you're going to need to lean on someone else, but if you put for a real effort to try to live healthier lives, then you should be damn proud of yourself too!

I had every intention to write about why I don’t sleep at night today. The reasons are amusing, annoying, and just plain silly. I get a kick out of them, and some of you probably would, too. But after reading Christy’s post today, here, I decided to play along and save the sleeping post for later in the week. If you want to play along, too, please link back from Christy’s blog. :o)

So Christy’s Table Topic for today was the question: What is the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

Just answering this question was hard for me. My first inclination was to give you an answer that really wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And the one thing I want to be here is honest, open, and real. SO, to be honest, I still am working on the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and it’s something I may always have to work on.

The hardest thing I have ever done is learn to be happy. I discovered two things when I was a teenager that would send me into a dark place as an adult. I learned that I had lost someone I never got a chance to know, and I “remembered” something that I went through as a child that no child should ever have to go through. The blow of these two things was just too much. I lost trust in most people and built a wall around my heart. Then I befriended people that just made me feel worse about myself because I thought feeling like shit was something I deserved. I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was. I thought this was how life was.

I was at such a low point in my life that I realized things couldn’t get any worse. And I realized that if I wasn’t happy, if I couldn’t be happy, how could I EVER find the right man for me to “settle down” with. How could I ever give love to someone else if I didn’t love myself and didn’t make myself happy? So, I made a promise to myself right then and there to change this. I dumped the losers that made me feel like crap and slowly, VERY SLOWLY, started to heal.

Today, I can say that most days, I’m pretty happy. I smile a lot more now. I laugh a lot more now. But, honestly, I still struggle with it. If something bad happens, then I have to really work to not let myself linger in the bad. But I am much better at not lingering. Yes, bad things happened to me. But I DESERVE to be happy, and I'm going to be happy. I’m learning to not be so hard on myself and to accept that some days are going to suck, but it doesn’t have to be most days. I have friends now that make me laugh, that pick me up, and that boost my ego. Now, I feel like maybe one day, just maybe, I will find the right guy to give love to. And that wall? Well, it can still be thrown up at a moment’s notice, it can also be taken down in the most surprising of times (um, like right now). I consider myself a pretty lucky girl. I found my way out of the dark.

So, Lisa over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans posted her True Confessions today. At first, I said that I couldn‘t remember any. Ok, so I thought of a few. Enjoy!


1. In a drunken state, I totally let my friends put way more make-up on my face than I normally use, spend way longer on my hair than I do, and dress me up on Saturday. Yes, there are pictures. Then the next morning, I temporarily forgot why I had lipstick on my lips. Temporarily.

2. I taught my nephew to scream at the top of his lungs, then died laughing at him, so he would be encouraged to scream at the top of his lungs. Just to piss my brother off.

3. I have a closet that I’m certain if I open the door, things will fall out. I have good intentions to clean this closet, but when I have free time to do this, I sit and play on the computer or practice Guitar Hero skillz.

4. I still have notebooks from college courses I took over 10 years ago. You know, in case I decide I ever need to freshen up on my Abstract Algebra or Fuzzy Math.

5. I have never watched the movie Grease all the way through (oh, watch the comments on this one). I can see it over on my DVD case right here from where I’m sitting, but I have never sat down to watch it. I’m a Star Trek kinda girl.

6. Related to Star Trek. I know the storyline of almost every episode of the series Star Trek: Voyager. Yes, I am that sad.

7. I am a walking klutz. I have fallen out of my chair at work. TWICE. And once I fell right in the middle of a crosswalk (but I didn’t spill my Frosty).

Ok, that’s all I got for now. ;o)

I often wonder what life would be like if my sister were here. Would I be any different? Would we have a great relationship? How would growing up have been different? Don’t get me wrong, growing up with three boys was fun, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t long to have my sister. I’ve spent countless hours being angry and sad. I have been deprived of her, and that more than sucks. I even joined a sorority in college because I thought that it would show me what it was like to have a sister. While I made some wonderful friends through the sorority, I didn’t come away from it knowing what it was like to have a sister. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I just wasn’t meant to know. And then…

I re-connected with Jessie, a friend from childhood. I started hanging out with her and her sister, Rachael. I just love to watch the two of them together. They have little inside jokes, hilarious stories about growing up, and one always seems to know what the other is thinking. They are the best of friends. You can just tell how much they mean to one another. It’s amazing. Now, I realize that all sisters may not have this type of relationship, but I choose to believe that if my sister were here, we’d be like Jess and Rach. But what’s more important than that is that in the almost two years that we’ve re-connected, I’ve been lucky enough to have been included in this relationship. We have little inside jokes, we have hilarious stories, and they know me so well, it scares me a little bit. I can’t even express how much that means to me.

There will always be a tiny little hole in my heart for the sister I never got to know. And I think a part of me will always feel deprived. I know that I’ll never know exactly what it’s like, but I’m no longer sad. I’m no longer angry. I wasn’t lucky enough to have gotten to grow up with my blood sister, but I am extremely lucky to get to grow older with two sisters of the heart. Jess and Rach, thank you and I love you.