Kinda Like A Sorority

I once heard this saying that you would meet the best of friends that you'd keep forever in college. I'm sure that's so very true for a lot of people, but for me that wasn't true.

I've been thinking about this lately and a few of you have reminded me of this recently. So, I think I'll talk about it just a bit. (If you don't mind.)

Let's go back to college... I went to a small college near my hometown that likes to think of itself as "the Harvard of the South". Now, I give you that nothing about my four years there was easy, but it cracks me up to know the attitude that some of those folks like to take.

Since I lived literally 10 minutes away from campus, my dad made me live at home. "There's absolutely no need for me to pay $5,000 for you to live 10 minutes from home," he said. Logically, he was right. Now? I wish I wasn't so logical.

So, to try to "fit it", I joined a sorority. Now, if you know me at all, you're thinking, wha?? Seriously?

Yes. I did. And to be honest, without those girls, I would not have made it through college. They helped me to begin to see that I am a strong woman. Not once was I hazed. I never felt like I "paid for my friends." (The dues I paid were to pay for things we did, like dances and t-shirts and parties, etc.) I always felt loved, and we were so amazingly diverse. I loved it. And, without them, I would have never had the fun that I did in college.

But, outside of facebook, I don't talk to very many of them on a consistent basis. It's hard to live with your parents and make the bonds that a lot of people do in college.

So, I spent a lot of my 20's desperately seeking lasting friendships. Some of them were right in front of me, and I just didn't see them until here recently. Others were terrible for me, but I was so hungry for good friends, that I didn't see just how bad they were for me.

I let them convince me that I was weak and ridiculous for being silly and, well really, just not worth a damn. I felt like crap most days. I tip toed most days. I was miserable most days.

Then one day, I had enough. I broke those friendships. I told myself they just weren't healthy for me anymore, and I broke the connection cold turkey. And I felt lost.

I felt like I had almost no one.

Then, one day, I found one person from my childhood. And not only did that person remember me, but she wanted my friendship. She helped me to see that I WAS worth so much more than I was giving myself credit for. And that I wasn't weak, but strong. And yes, I'm very silly, but you know what? That's perfectly okay.

Eventually I became the person that you all know now. I'm not weak, I'm very strong, and yes, I'm silly, but you know what? Who the hell cares? It's fine, and it's fun, so all is good.

I know I still struggle with some of this. I know some of you have seen this, and I know it can be annoying. I'm not asking for patience (because I know it's so freaking annoying) but I do appreciate it. I sometimes feel like the friendships I have made here are the ones that most people make in college.

So many people see a sorority as a bad thing. All you hear about is the bad, so it's hard to know that there is good out there when it comes to sororities. But when I think of a sorority, I think of a group of women who share a common bond in something. In college, it's the actual sorority. The bond that is created exists because because of the secrets you share within the sorority. In life, it can be motherhood or knitting or oh, I don't know, happy hours, or blogging.

So, to me, we're all kind of like my sorority. Diverse and fun and so very full of love. When one blogger meets another, a secret handshake of sorts is exchanged. That "bond" is there. Some you get to know better than others. That's fine. It happens in sororities. Also, when one falls, we're there to pick her up. If she succeeds, we celebrate with her. We just care. We're lasting friends. And I love it.

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Midwest Mommy said...

What a great way to put it!
College sucked for me. I did a community college for the first two years while living at home. My junior year I moved away to a four year school, something happened, moved back home and commuted the rest of the two years.
I have no problem telling people my blog friends are my real friends. You guys are :-)

Christie O. said...

great post! it actually wasn't until recently where I wished I had joined a sorority in college, and it's because of the friendships I've made with other mommies and with bloggers (like you). I thought the sorority thing would be about trying to "fit in" with a pack of catty girls, but I wish now that I would have seen past that and seen the sisterhood that we all share in being women. going through all sorts of things that girls and women go through is best when done in groups! safety in numbers!! :) there is nothing like a good girlfriend to get you through something. i know that now.

Brooke said...

*hopes she gets the secret handshake right*

you know that you're important when jay knows your name even though he's never read your blog!! :)

~Mendie~ said...

Great post April...really made me think about how I feel about friendships.

Sometimes friends become friends out of instance. Both left in a small town when everyone else had moved to college or a sorority like you had. Others because they work at the same place or whatever. Some of them last and some do not. They served the purpose for the time but as you grow you begin to see what is important and what friendship really means.

I do feel like alot of friends I have met thru the Sisterhood and my blog are ones that "get" what I'm talking about. You can only talk to your sig other about weightloss or TTC for so long then you end up sounding like a broken record. Having women who are going thru the same thing is amazing and it helps to stregthen me as a person. You all make me want to be a stonger woman!

Oh, and the stories you get to hear are entertaining, heartwarming and amazing...there are so many wonderful people out there!

Bacardi Mama said...

First, pass me a kleenex. Then, you are so right. Between blogging and the Sisterhood, I have made some of the best friends ever and I only know most of you by your words and pictures. I know very few of you in everyday life. I never went to college, so I don't know about that experience. I just know about this and for the last nine months, you have all meant the world to me. Your support, caring, laughter and love have made this time very special. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Don't give all the tissues to Bacardi Mama cause I need one now! I am SO DAM proud to be a part of the HookerSkanks Sorority! I love ALL you gals!

*Lissa* said...

Great post, April!! So true! XOXO

Anonymous said...

Friends. You never know when you're going to find one. Love this and love the diversity blogging has brought to my life.

Heather of the EO said...

I'm so glad to be a part of your sorority.

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