I went 30 years, 8 months, and 5 days without ever having to wear a cast. Guess how old I am. Now guess what I got today. Yep. My first cast. Thank God it's a removable one.

Almost two weeks ago I fell and landed awkwardly. I didn't go to the doctor right away because I thought my thumb was just jammed. I jammed fingers all the time playing basketball. When my thumb didn't get any better, I figured I had done a real number on it. But I can move it, so it's not that bad, right? My friends thought differently. I got text messages and emails until I gave in. Now, I could sit and whine, but I'm not(anymore). I have to admit that my visit to the doctor today was amusing. So, I thought I'd share.

The waiting room started it off. There were three other women waiting for their appointments. One was quietly reading, the next one was chewing happily on a sandwich (who does that at the doctor's office?), and the last one was snoring so loudly that I swear I felt the floor vibrate. That poor woman was sawing enough logs for a cabin. I couldn't help but giggle to myself.

Why do the nurses always tell you that the doctor will be with you in just a minute? Is this a trick or do they just not know how to tell time? "Just a minute" is never less than 15 minutes. Maybe time inside that office is different than time in the real world.

I love the question, "Does it hurt?" I felt like saying, "Nope. Just thought I'd give you all a $20 co-pay for the hell of it."

I could see the doctor looking at my x-rays. I knew how he kept going back and forth between views that the news wasn't going to be good; however, when he showed me the fracture and said he was going to splint it, I thought this is good news, right?

Now, I don't know about you, but I've had splints plenty of times in my life, so I thought I was going to get this little metal thing that you tape around your wrist. Am I wrong in thinking that this is was a splint is? So, why did he just walk back into the room with a box almost the size of a shoebox? And what he pulled out of the was no splint. Nope. That's a cast, and it goes a good four inches past my wrist.

When the doctor was fitting me in my cast, he SQUEEZED my thumb right where it's fractured. Could I have gotten sued for kicking him in the balls for that? It would have been a reflex, I swear.

Also, why does my thumb hurt more now than it did before I went?

One last thing. When the nurse came back in to fill out the paperwork for this cast, was it mean of me to let her completely fill out the form for me (because my right thumb is the lame one), and then proudly announce that I'm left-handed when she handed me the pen to sign the form? I don't think so. ;o)