I have no clue what to write about, so I thought I write a bit about me. I know it’s boring, but for now, it’s all I got. ;o)

I am 30 years old. In June, I will be 31. I’m fine with it. No 30-something age could be half as bad as my twenties were.

I grew up with 3 boys but I only have one sibling-a brother. My uncle and his family have always lived near us, so I grew up with my two cousins as well. (In fact on both sides of my family, I am one of only 4 girls. Out of 23 total kids.)

As a result of growing up with 3 boys, I know the ins and outs of most sports. I played basketball for 6+ years, but would have tried out for the football team had I been taller.

I love all things gadgets (another result of growing up with boys), including video games. I have 3 different game systems hooked up and ready to go in my house.

I own my own house. I’ve lived here for 4 and a half years. I’m quite proud that I own my own house, but if the electric company doesn’t quit ripping me off, I may have to sell my own house.

If I had it to do over again, I would have majored in biology and would have become a zoo keeper. I love animals…except when my parrot screams.

My drink of choice is beer. I am an equal opportunity beer drinker, although ambers are my favorite.

Right now, I hope that every person that is in charge of my electric bill has hemorrhoids.

I hope they keep those hemorrhoids until the lower my bill again.

I love kids, but am not sure I want one of my own. If I do have one, I’ve had names picked out since I was a teenager.

I’ve made it my life’s mission to spoil my almost 11 month old nephew rotten. I think I have a good start.

Ok, that’s all I got. Have a great rest of the weekend!

Another Wednesday has arrived and you all know what that means. We’re at Weigh-in Wednesday (#3 if you’re keeping count) of the Sisterhood’s Looking Fine for Valentine’s Challenge. Isn’t that just fun to say? Let‘s, everybody say it together-oh, come on, you know you want to! Better yet, if you haven’t yet, click on over and check the Sisterhood out!

Anyway, I have no clue how this weigh-in is going to go. Not really feeling at my skinniest this morning. And I totally blew it on Saturday. I did so good at dinner with friends. Before dinner, I checked out the restaurant’s menu on The Daily Plate’s website and picked out a few choices. I was prepared! And then, there was a suggestion. “Hey! Wanna go dancing?” With that, my calories were blown. And I felt terrible about it. But then the next day, I thought, what’s done is done. Let’s move on and focus one day at a time. Now, I’m just going to cross my fingers that the dancing I helped some.

Last week’s weight: 151.2
This week’s weight: 151.2

No loss, no gain. Ok, here are my thoughts on it. If there’s one thing that I have learned through all of this it’s that it isn’t reasonable to expect myself to completely give up certain things. If I try to give up those things, then I will most certainly fail at this. There are going to be times when I am going to completely blow it for the day. But I now know that the good days far outweigh the bad days. I have the strength inside me to say, “April, you blew it. Now what are you going to do about it?” I’m going to start over, eat right, work out, and just take it day by day. I have some real challenges the next couple of weeks and I can’t be certain that I won’t blow it all of those times. In fact, I know of a few times that I know I'm going to blow it. But I can promise myself that I will try to be mindful. And that’s just what I’m going to do. That's all any of us can do! :o)

So, this is how my morning went:

First, let me say that it’s a miracle for me to get showered, get dressed and get to work and not run into a wall(ok, sometimes I do). I don't always sleep well so sometimes I admit to being half asleep when I get ready.

This morning, I'm getting ready and hear the rain begin. Dangit, now I have to let the dogs in. So, to the back door I go. Kelci (the shepherd) nearly knocks me down as she's barreling through the door. Bayleigh (the spaniel) is jumping around like crazy. She's just thankful to be in the house. I head to the back of the house to finish getting ready. I'm alone in the bathroom. This means, Kelci is in her hiding place. Behind the bed. She knows that she's going to be in the house and crated. Yep. I'm going to be late for work. I finish getting ready, head to the front of the house to water and feed the birds.

Ok, now I must explain something here. For whatever reason, Cagney's (the parrot) first poop of the day is projectile. I kid you not, that bird can poop a good foot beyond her cage. I have a towel in front of her cage just to catch this first poop. So this morning, I'm walking back from changing her water, and I see she's hunkered down ready to launch. I stop in my tracks. I want to keep my distance here. READY! AIM! FIRE! As usual, the poop hits the towel, I get the towel up, give her the clean water, and go to my other bird. Now I notice that she keeps chuckling to herself. What's so funny? She chuckles again. Whatever, I need to go. I put Bayleigh in her crate, drag Kelci out from her hiding spot and to hers, and I'm on my way. I may not be late afterall. This isn’t too bad. Then, I notice something as I'm getting out of my car at work. I have a trail of bird poop from my knee to my foot on my left leg. I was a good two feet away from that cage! Jeez. Now I realize (or I suspect anyway) what Cagney was chuckling at. Happy Tuesday, Mama. Love, Cagney.

Around 9 months ago, I quit going to the gym. I loved the gym, but the one at work is now trying to accommodate something like 800 members with 7 cardio machines. So, I would head to the gym after work and have to wait almost an hour to get on a machine. Now, if you’re like me, you have your work out time scheduled. If it doesn’t get done within that scheduled time then it doesn’t get done, so waiting that long was messing with my routine and leaving me VERY frustrated.

That’s when I started adding more and more workout DVDS to my routine. I’ve tried a lot, and if I haven’t tried it, then it’s on my list to try. If you know me at all, you know that Jillian Michaels is one of my fitness heroes. I’ve heard her talk about interval training before and that if you wanted to burn the most amount of calories in the least amount of time, this is the way to go. So, imagine my delight this morning when my very own copy of her 30 Day Shred came into my possession. I couldn’t wait to get home to try it out.

The program offers 3 levels. Level 1 being the easiest, and level 3 being the hardest. If you’re just starting out, or if you’re really trying to follow the program, then I suggest starting at level 1. Since I’m only looking for a new work out to mix up my routine, and consider myself pretty fit, I decided to try level 3 first. Each level is very similar, though. One level is 20 minutes long and broken into 3 segments(she calls them circuits). You do 3 minutes of strength training, 2 minutes of cardio work, and 1 minute of ab work in each segment. I’ve done most of these exercises on other DVDs. So, they weren’t new to me, but I still found them challenging. Plus, I like how quick the pace is. You’re so busy jumping from exercise to exercise, you don’t really have time to think about how much you really hate that exercise. Ok, well you may still think about how much you hate that exercise, but soon the 20 minutes are up and you have a serious sweat going. There were a couple of things I didn‘t care for though. Being familiar with the P90X and Turbo Jam work outs, I’ve grown very accustomed to seeing how much time is left in your work out moving across the screen. That’s a nice feature that this work out lacks. Also, it was only 20 minutes. I admit it, I’m a little crazy. Unless I get 45 minutes to an hour of work out in, it’s hard for me to feel like I accomplished something. But it looks like reading online, that it does burn a lot of calories in a short amount of time. (I'd like to test that with a heart rate monitor.) And Jillian has said that she designed this program for people on the go.

So, I’ll probably use this work out on days that life happens and I may not get a longer work out in. Because let’s face it, life happens. There are days when you just don’t have the time to get a super long work out in. Or you just don’t feel like working out. But seriously, this is JUST 20 minutes. That’s all. I mean, you can do anything for 20 minutes. Seriously, can’t you fit 20 minutes into your day to do something that is going to make you feel great in the long run? Sure you can! :o)

Two years ago, I gave up dating. I don’t enjoy it. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date that I can say I’ve had a lot of fun. The guys that I have dated were more interesting in getting me into bed or bragging about themselves instead of trying to have real “getting to know you” conversations. So I said screw it. I wasn’t going to waste my time anymore on it. And I’ve been pretty content with my decision.

And then came facebook. I have mixed feelings about that site. On one hand, I’ve reconnected with people that I know I would have never talked to again. On the other hand, I may not want to be found by some people. Enter the one we’ll call The Dude for now. Years ago I worked with The Dude, and after a few years, for whatever reason, The Dude got fired. And now he’s found me on facebook. Then he emailed me at work, and we’ve been chatting for a week. I admit it. He amuses me. The Dude is funny. But I also think he’s interested in more than just chatting over email. And that’s when I get nervous. I would like to thank fitness hero #1 for talking me off the ledge a few times last week. ;o)

I have this fear of the unknown. Most people do, right? But the difference (I think) with me is that I tend to turn my back on the unknown. So rather than take the chance that I’ll discover something wonderful, I hide from it. To make matters worse, a friend of mine and I were talking last night. She told me that she and The Dude talked years ago, and while it didn’t go anywhere it might have if she hadn’t met her current boyfriend. Great.

So now that I’ve published to you all how completely weird I am, I’m going to go contemplate this situation. Did I mention that I’m extremely analytical? Some days, it’s a wonder I make it through the day.

One of the things that convinced me to get my ass in gear to get healthy was an event that took place in September of 2007. My extended family on my maternal grandmother’s side decided to have a family reunion. So, that weekend, my mom and I headed to my parents’ hometown. One of my mom’s sisters tends to have a very, how can I put this nicely, overpowering personality. When you get to know me, I can be one of the most outgoing people you know, but when I’m around certain family members, I grow quiet. Enter Wallflower April. One of the first things I noticed was my aunt grabbing my mom’s camera making herself official event photographer.

It didn’t take me long to figure out why she took such forceful charge of the camera. She was staying out of pictures. She’s battled with her weight most of her adult life, and despite being very outgoing, she’s very insecure. So, this was her way of not having to see herself in pictures. At the end of the reunion, we realized that we needed to squeeze an extra person in my aunt’s car. So, my aunt puts her arm around me and proudly announces to the rest of the extended family that she and I would take the front seats because we needed to face it that we were the fat ones of the family. I was mortified. And pissed. It took every ounce of my being to not blow up at her right there. I didn’t want to ruin the day for the others. So, we got back to my grandparents’ house and I went quietly to my room (yes I have my own room there), and took the camera with me. I reviewed the pictures and saw that she had taken quite of few of me at not so good angles. Is that what I really looked like? With tears streaming down my face, I erased those pictures leaving only ones of me that weren’t so bad.

I’d like to say that immediately I got all of the puzzle pieces together and a couple of months later, I lost a lot of weight, but that’s not true. Weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint, and it took me a few months to learn and get all of the tools I needed. Now, I’ve lost a lot of weight, and my aunt hates it. She has tried over and over again to make me feel bad about losing weight. And while yes, it hurts me to still be insulted when I have so much to be proud of myself for, it also makes me sad. She’s hurting. While it’s wrong of her, that’s her way of dealing with it. So, I take the insults or just stay away. I will not play her game. I will not let her make me feel bad about something that I have worked so hard for. She even told me that she quit caring and is just going to be happy being fat. Problem. She was just diagnosed with diabetes. What hurts me the most is that I know I can help her. I have the key, but she won’t take it. And until she seeks my help or figures it out on her own, there’s nothing I can do for her.

So, I guess my point of all of this is that some of you may have people in your lives like this. You each have to figure out how best to handle it for your particular situation. Just DO NOT let them get you down. Whether you are at the beginning, middle, or the end of your marathon, you have a lot to be proud of. You’ve decided to make the change and live healthier lives. And that, my friends, is awesome.

Today is weigh-in #2 with the Sisterhood’s “Looking Fine for Valentine’s” Challenge. I've been really worried about this weigh-in. Ok, who am I kidding? I‘ve gotten anxious each time I‘ve weighed in this past year. But the week was a real challenge for me. I did well on Wednesday, then woke up on Thursday with a sore throat. This had bad news written all over it. A sore throat means the start of something bad. And I just can’t drink water when my throat is sore. So, good-bye water; hello soda. (Bad April!) I was hoping and willing that the burning feeling in my throat would just go away. No such luck. By nine that morning, my ears were screaming, and I had a headache from hell. Friday and Saturday were no better. So, needless to say, work outs didn't get worked out. Sunday I felt some better, so I tried to work out, but my body just gave out after twenty minutes. On Monday, after many hours of Nyquil-induced sleep, I finally got a decent work out in. Now, I’m going to get on the scales and hope for the best…

Last week’s weight: 151.4
Today’s weight: 151.2

Well. That’s less than stellar, but it could have been worse. It’s not a gain, I guess. I didn’t expect have a big loss this week. And we all know that the last 20 is the hardest to lose. And considering that I just didn’t have the energy to work out on normal work out days stinks, but well, it is what it is. No need to sit and worry over the past. I’ve worked too hard this last year to be discouraged by one week. What I need to do is to get over the past week, work hard this coming week, and be anxious all over again next Wednesday morning. :o)

If you’re familiar with the television show The Biggest Loser, then you have seen the bullying, screaming, tough as nails trainer Jillian Michaels. But did you know that she does a radio show every Sunday morning? When I found this out, I decided to give it a listen. One of the first shows I listened to, Jillian talked about the dangers of Splenda. She completely trashed it. Said that it wasn’t safe as the manufacturer’s want us to believe. That they claim it’s calorie-free, but that it wasn’t true because what they do is take sugar and wash it in chlorine which causes your body to not absorb the calories. At that point, I looked down at my coffee that was sweetened with-you guessed it-Splenda in disbelief. This couldn’t be true, could it? I mean, I love Jillian, and I’m sure she knows her stuff when it comes to working out, but this just couldn’t be true. So, I decided to do a little digging of my own.

What I found is that experts aren’t really sure if Splenda is safe or not. Some people have side effects and some people don’t. What I do know is that to make Splenda, they take sugar (chemically known as sucrose) and replace parts of it with chlorine atoms (I found this on http://www.womentowomen.com/nutritionandweightloss/splenda.aspx). Now, I’m by no means an expert, and can only give my personal feelings and opinions on this, but did you catch that? Chlorine. Just like Jillian said. According to the article, your digestive system doesn’t recognize it. So, technically, it has calories, but your body just doesn’t absorb those calories.

The more I thought about it, the more I kept thinking about that chlorine. Is that something I want to put into my body? Like the article said, they don’t know if it’s safe, so why would I want to wait until the experts find out if it’s safe? Ok, decision made, I’m going to switch to a natural sugar substitute. Problem. I don’t like any of the ones that I’ve tried so far. I’ve tried Stevia, erythritol, and the new product on the market Truvia (which contains both Stevia and erythritol). I don’t like the aftertaste that Stevia and Truvia leave. And it takes so much erythritol to get my coffee sweet enough for my taste that I might as well just use sugar. The one natural sugar substitue that I haven’t tried is xylitol. I haven’t tried it is because I haven’t been able to find it yet in the area that I live. Yes, yes, I know I can order it online and will probably do so soon, but what if I don’t like it either? I can’t use regular sugar. There are way too many calories in sugar for that. I might as well go to Starbucks every day (hmmm-no, I can’t do that). And I won’t give up coffee. It’s not happening. I mean, soda is one thing I think I can give up(well mostly), but coffee? Nope. I guess the thing to do is to just try the xylitol and see what happens. I’ll keep you posted.

Rock back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. His eyes are staring at the wall, his face set with a look that says, “I will NOT go to sleep.” He lifts his head up, and I close my eyes and start humming “You Are My Sunshine”. He relaxes his head back and settles in for a nice snuggle. I feel his first big sigh. I peek down at him and see his eyes are getting heavy. Keep humming, April. He starts singing to himself in an attempt to keep himself awake. I smile. This has to be one of my favorite sounds. With his second big sigh, his singing gets slower and slower and eventually fades away into endless dreams of whatever babies dream of. And he is asleep. Fade out “You Are My Sunshine.“ I couldn’t help but sit there rocking my nephew just a while longer. I so rarely get him to myself anymore. The time we spent rocking were the best 20 minutes of my weekend.

As I sit here on Saturday night/Sunday morning, I took some time to write some of my random thoughts down (I've seen some cool people do this on their blogs and thought I'd try my hand at it). That said, enjoy. ;o)

I am a rock star at Guitar Hero…on easy. These kids that play on expert levels like it ain’t a thang, piss me off.

It’s been a while since I’ve trimmed my cocker spaniel’s fur. Makes her look like the sheep dog on Looney Tunes. Aww, I like that sheep dog.

Law & Order: SVU is the best of the L&O’s.

Sometimes the best thing about owning a parrot is when you cover them up at night (those of you who own one understand.).

I just love my new TV. It’s so hard to watch things in standard definition now.

My biggest fear is that my nephew will grow up not knowing me (long story, I’ll share it if you like). I love that kid more than life itself.

Tom Welling is HOT.

Enough Nyquil in your system will give you the best sleep ever. Seriously.

Some dude I don’t know just added me on Facebook. I hate when that happens. Oh wait, I do know him. Cool.

The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans rocks. I’ve had quite a few chuckles reading the blogs from there this week. Thanks, girls!

And there ya go. Happy weekend, everyone!

Saturday morning. I'm lying here on my couch with a freaking cold. I hate any part of being sick. No, not hate-loathe. Yes, that's better. I spent a good portion of my childhood being sick, so when I have even a hint of a sniffle, I'm just annoyed. But oh well, it is what it is, and I'll get over it...hold on, just let me take some Nyquil.

Now, I don't often just hang out on the couch on Saturday mornings. I'm usually up and cleaning house or off to run errands (translation: errands usually = shopping. ha!). But since I am just lying here this morning, you know what would have been super nice? A morning full of cartoons. Yeah, I know...you moms may be saying, you're joking right? That's all I do is watch cartoons. But I'm not talking about the cartoons of today. I'm talking about the cartoons we all grew up with. Now, I realize I may not be up to date with what's on TV now, but it just seems to me that a good portion of today's cartoons just aren't funny. I don't think it's because I'm an adult, because I admit that I have the sense of humor of a child. One of my favorite gadgets is my fart machine (the best $10 I ever spent). I really think it's because these cartoons just aren't funny. What ever happened to the greats like Thundercats, the Smurfs, Snorks, He-Man and She-Ra, Gummi Bears, or <enter your favorite cartoon here>?? Those were great cartoons!

When I was a kid, there was absolutely nothing better than to wake up, realize that I didn't have to go to school, roll out of bed, roll onto the couch (after I turned the TV on and switched the dial MANUALLY. How did we survive with no remotes?), and watch cartoons all morning. And Saturday mornings usually meant pancakes. I'm telling you, there was nothing better than that. I guess with these cable stations now, there's no need for Saturday morning cartoons. You can have cartoons all the time, and that's fine, but dudes, take a look a your cartoons and make them better at least. Make them funny! So, with no good cartoons on right now, I guess I'm just going to have to pick out a dvd...oh no, a decision.

PS. For all of you He-Man fans, Hulu.com has posted some episodes of season 1. Go re-live your childhood!

I went to work on March 6, 2008 knowing that my life would change that day. That was the day, he was coming whether I was ready or not. I would quit being just April and become Aunt April. I’ve taken care of a lot of cousins in my time and I love them all, but this was different. I was going to have a nephew! Three hours later, I drove to the hospital. When I got to the room, my brother walked to me with the proudest of looks on his face and placed his son in my arms. And I fell in love. With all 4 lbs 9 oz of him. He was so tiny! And oh, just listen to him sigh. That had to be the sweetest sound I have ever heard in my life! He simply took my breath away.

He's the first grandchild in our family, so to watch how my parents have completely transformed into these people called Grandma and Grandpa has been amusing. And watching my nephew grow these past ten months has been a complete joy. Like all babies, he’s so curious and full of life. Instead of trying to learn to crawl, he’s trying his hardest to just walk instead. When he’s hungry, he wants it now, and not in the length of time that it takes you to get it ready. He hates a wet diaper, but would sit in a poopy one all day long if you let him. And he’s cutting his first tooth, which makes him just so darn cute! Last week, when I got my first real hug from him, I fell in love with him all over again (which I‘ve done about a hundred times already).

I have an uncle who has no children. I can remember once when I was a kid, the grown-ups were talking, and my uncle pointed to the four of us (my two cousins, my brother, and me) and said, “they are my children.” That’s the only part of the conversation I heard, but it always stuck with me. I never understood what he meant by that. I’m thirty years old, and I have no children of my own. Until recently, that bothered the crap out of me. I mean, I just knew that by the time I was thirty, I would be married and have kids. Heck, it’s all I wanted for the longest time. Then years passed, and as I grew and changed, so did my life. Now I just don’t know what I want in my future. I like the idea of a family of my own, but I’m not sure that I love the idea. And for now, I am ok with that. While I’m sure that love for my own child would be no comparison to the love I have for my nephew, I think back to that day and what my uncle said, “they are my children.” And I look at my nephew and I understand exactly what my uncle meant.

This is my first weigh-in with the girls (and boy) from the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. If you haven’t gone over and checked the site out…go. Seriously, go now! The challenge is Looking Fine for Valentines. My goal: to break through this damn plateau. If it’s not this week, next, or even the week after, by the end of this challenge I WILL break through this plateau. So, let’s see how I did.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! What in the world? For a split second I’m wondering why the alarm clock is going off a full 30 minutes earlier than normal, then I realize…today is weigh-in Wednesday. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I’m anxious to see if I can finally get below 153 pounds. On the other hand what if I gained? I step on the scales, and I suddenly feel like I’m a contestant on the game show Press Your Luck but instead of cheering for “big money”, I’m cheering for a lower number, and “no whammies!” Come on, lower number, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy! STOP!

OMG! It’s a loss! I did it! I broke the plateau! I’m at 151.4! No more 153 lbs! I vow to never see that number on the scales again!! (Side note: should I decide one day to have a child and get back to the 150s, I will not see 153. I’ve decided I’m gonna skip over it.) I was at 153 for months and truly sick of seeing that number on the scales. I took a break from losing weight and weekly weigh-ins because of it. But now, even though it‘s not as big of a number that I was accustomed to seeing when I began all of this a year a ago, I’ll definitely take it!


Starting weight: 153.0
Today’s weight: 151.4

I bought a set of scales yesterday. For the past year, I've been weighing myself once a week at my parents' house. Now, it was time to get my own set. Since I was a teenager, I had a fear of the scales. It was so bad that I didn't get on a set of scales for years. I don't even know how many years. I wasn't like those folks on the Biggest Loser (which is one of my favorite shows, by the way), so I didn't need to get on those stupid scales. I exercised for crying out loud, it couldn't be that bad, right? Right? Then one day...

I was working out in our gym at work, and I felt really good about my 30 minutes on the elliptical. I FELT like I had lost a little weight, so it couldn't be that bad. Let's see what they say, I thought. Um, wow, I wonder if these scales are broken. No worries. There's another set right over there. They'll be right. I'm sure there's something wrong with the first set-whoa. Are you kidding me?? What.The.Hell. I had a bigger problem than I thought. This HAD to be fixed.

Thus, began the weekly weigh-in. Once a week, at my parents' house. I still had enough of a fear of them that I didn't want them in MY house. But slowly, that fear became determination, and the scales became a tool that I needed to succeed in my weight loss journey. Now I have my own, and I'm anxiously awaiting Wednesday which will mark the beginning of my love/hate relationship with my scales. I will weigh in and if I've broken the plateau, I will love them. If I'm still at the same weight or if, God help me, I gain, then I'll try my best not to throw them out of the window. :o)

I bought a set of scales today which is a big step for me, but with joining the challenge of at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans (go check 'em out!), I thought it just made more sense than having to drive to my parents' every week. So I was all set to talk about how both excited and frightened I am about having scales in my house (I think they're staring at me even right now), and my brother went and ruined it.

Without going into details, let's just say that my relationship with my brother is strained. Since we were teenagers, we have fought a lot, but last year I thought we were really trying become closer since my brother now has a kid. Then a few months ago it all went to hell. I really don't want to go into the details of that horrible night, but let's just say that my brother should feel extremely lucky that I am even talking to him at this point because I honestly haven't forgiven him yet for what he did, and I really don't know when that forgiveness will come. Really, the ONLY reason I'm talking to him is so that I can still see my nephew. It's just like every time we're around each other, he finds something (intentional or not) to make me feel like a complete failure at life. For example: I recently admitted to my family that I'm no longer sure if I want children. Please don't get me wrong. I love kids. I'm good with them. I'm just not sure I want one. And because I've said that, you'd think that I threw all of my knowledge about kids out of the window. Hello!!!! I've changed more diapers, and fed more babies more bottles than my brother has. I even took care of 15 month old twins every day, 8-10 hours a day for 4 months when I was in college. I think I know what to do. And ok, I know it's his kid. I get it. I really do, but you don't have to treat me like I know nothing. So you know what? I'm not a failure at life. In fact, I think I've done a heck of a job in my life thus far. Just because it isn't how he would have done things means nothing to me. If all of our lives were exactly the same, the world would be extremely boring, wouldn't it? So, I refuse to let him make me feel like crap because I'm forever single or because I'm childless or because he makes more money than I do. Whatever, dude.

As a few of you know, I tend to hold things in until I'm ready to explode, so the fact that I didn't today is major (it's a personal goal for 2009). And having said all of that...whew...I feel much better now.

A couple of good things about today: Got a great big hug from my nephew, and I got a new cute coffee mug!! I love getting new coffee mugs!

As I sit here on this Saturday night, I can’t help but notice that ALL of my animals are either quiet or sleeping. All of them. This is a rare happening in my house. I’m afraid to move because I know if I do, the calm will be no more. Thing that stinks about that is that I really have to go to the bathroom. I honestly could start a whole separate blog about them, but for now this will do. So, let me introduce you to The Zoo (really didn’t mean to make that rhyme. I swear.).

Neville: Neville is a cinnamon pearl white-face cockatiel and the baby of all of my animals at 2. He’s also the only male in the house. The thing I love about Neville is that he’s probably the sweetest bird I have ever met and he’s in love with my mom. When she comes into the room he whistles and calls and tells us what a “pretty bird” he is. The one thing that I could do without when it comes to Neville is when he mocks the dog toys. When he goes into squeak mode, it’s “squeak, squeak, squeak” for what seems to be an hour at a time.

Kelci: At 4, my black sable German Shepherd is my baby. I’ve had her since she was 7 weeks old. She was only 6 lbs the day I brought her home and sick. I nursed her back to health and now, 59 lbs later, she likes to be by my side ALL THE TIME. Yes, yes, this is cute and all, but give a girl a break. There are some things I need to do without the help of an escort. That said, it amuses me that she’s learned to open the screen door, turn on the water faucet, and un-latch the backyard gate. Sometimes when I talk to her, I half expect her to answer me back. She’s also my walking buddy. We both love it.

Bayleigh: Now, I love my 6 year old tri-color Cocker Spaniel. I really do. However, I will never own another Cocker Spaniel ever again. To those of you who love the breed, I’m sorry. I swear to you she’s ADHD. And while she’s calmed down a lot, she has still made it her life mission to sniff down the entire house every night. I get tired just watching her. My favorite thing about her though is that she gives actual hugs. She’ll come over and rest her head on your shoulder. I know, right?

Cagney: Cagney is my Congo African Grey Parrot. A co-worker made the decision that she could no longer care for Cagney and knew that I loved animals and there ya go. I’m not quite sure how old she is, but my guess is around 10. She has the vocabulary and emotions of a two year old. I really think she only likes me because she doesn’t have a choice. If she had the chance, I know she’d take Kelci’s nose off. And while she’s completely mean, she cracks me up (she just burped). I find myself sometimes watching her instead of the TV. However, there are times that she will scream, and I know she does this just to piss me off.

Charlotte: Charlotte is my dog, but lives with my parents. See previous and future posts on Charlotte. She’s way too special to get just a few lines.

So now you know why I’m amazed that the house is so quiet right now. But I’m afraid I can no longer hold it and must go to the bathroom. So here we go….

Oh wow, two posts in a week? Jeez. But, something someone said to me today got me thinking. And those of you who know me, KNOW that sometimes can be a dangerous thing. Just sayin. :o)

A girl at work complimented me today on my weight loss. It blows my mind that I'm still getting compliments. And the question, "were you trying to lose weight" amuses me. First of all, I've not been out of work and I don't look sick, so yes, I've been trying to lose weight. But I guess that the issue of weight loss can be a touchy subject, so instead of saying "here's your sign", I just smile, nod, and thank them for the compliment. (Note: in the past I would probably have not taken the compliment well and would shyly nod or something, but now I proudly say, "Yes, I have lost a lot of weight". I've worked hard dangit.) Anyway, so then she asks me was it hard to lose the weight. I have trouble with this question because part of me wants to scream, yes it's hard, I've worked my ass off. But honestly, once you have all of the puzzle pieces in front of you and you figure out what works for you, it isn't hard at all.

Now, is it tedious? Can be. Is it a struggle? Sometimes. But it isn't hard. No seriously. It isn't. So, if you want to know my secret, here it is: there is no secret! It's "calories in" versus "calories out". That's it. Simple math, right? Now, for those of you that are thinking what a headache counting calories would be, you're right. At first, it stinks. I had to first figure out how many calories a day I was eating. Once I had that, I figured out my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate: this basically is how many calories you burn in a day if you just sit and do nothing), then I set my calorie limit that would sustain me, but create a deficit. So, basically what this means is that I can have anything I want as long as I stay within that limit. Additionally, I made the choice to cut out as many processed foods as possible. This gives my body the right kinds of foods to fuel my body for working out. Which is the next part. I created (with the help of my fitness hero #1), an exercise plan that I could follow no matter what my schedule is. If there are days/weeks that I can allow for more exercise, awesome, if not, then that's cool too. Also, I started strength training. For years and years, all I could think was cardio, cardio, cardio. Which is fine, but strength training builds muscle which in turn boosts your metabolism. Once I put all of these puzzle pieces together, the weight started to melt off. And eventually I learned how many calories things have in them, and really don't have to journal how much I eat. (I will spot check myself every so often.)

Of course that's the short of it. There are dozens of details that I could talk about all day. But I won't (unless you want to know). And if some of you think that it sounds familar, it's basically what they do with the contestants on the Biggest Loser. The key is to figure out how many calories are right for you (but NEVER go below 1200!). Or really, the key is to figure out what method works for you. If it's Weight Watchers, great! If it's another program, great! The point is to remember a diet isn't something that you go on and come off, your diet is how you eat (thank you, Bob).

First, let me say, for those who are interested, I will continue my story on Charlotte soon.

So, thanks to some newfound online friends (girls, you know who you are!), I’ve decided to come back to the blog. It’s not like I quit writing on purpose…it’s just been a rough few months. That said, HELLO 2009! I am so glad you are here. And good-bye 2008...how I won’t miss you. You sucked. (Sorry, but you did.)

Well most of it did anyway. It rocked in the fact that I am down 53 lbs (yep, you read that right) AND I managed to maintain during the holidays. I can’t tell you how stoked I am. This holiday season I found that I could enjoy all of my favorites (even dark beer), and not go crazy with it. If I wanted a slice of cake or drink a pint of Winter Lager, dangit, I was going to have it, and that’s ok.

Which brings me to what I have decided to talk about in this post. Learning to not deprive myself of my favorites, but to not go too crazy was a harder thing that I thought. The thing is, I am not a binge eater. I never have been, but during the holidays I probably would go a little crazy because, after all, “it’s the holidays”! This holiday season, I decided I needed a break from being militant with diet and exercise because of personal reasons and because I have hit the dreaded plateau. That’s right a plateau. For weeks and weeks I’ve been stuck at 53 lbs lost and I have 23 to go! And as fabulous as losing 53 lbs is, I hate plateaus. Seriously. I hate them more than the new Knight Rider. But I know that this is my body’s way of thinking it’s starving. If feels like it needs to hang onto those 23 lbs. It’s your body’s instinct to do this. That’s why losing 30 lbs or less is a whole different ball game than losing 50 or more. So, the answer to the problem (I hope), was a break. I exercised only two days a week and for the most part stayed within my calorie allowance, but if I wanted one of those homemade cookies that my grandmother made, well I had two. I just didn’t have five. Christmas Day, I ate whatever I wanted. And I enjoyed my New Year’s. Ok, confession: New Year‘s I went a little insane with food and drink, but it was my first New Year’s out of the house in years. And due to womanly reasons, I cannot be held responsible for my calorie intake on New Year's. :) My point is that going a LITTLE crazy is ok. It really is. So, if you’re in a plateau or just feel like you need a break, take it. Just be mindful and don’t go too crazy. My body, my mind, and my soul needed that month or so off.

Now, that said, it is a whole new year. A whole new ball game. And it’s time to refocus, put down the dark beer (and switch to lite. Dudes, I‘m not completely giving up beer. It‘s not going to happen.), pick up the clean, healthy foods, exercise my arse off, and lose these stubborn 23 lbs. I know it’s going to be a battle, but hopefully for now my body realizes that I’m not trying to starve it. I’m going to get this body in the best shape it has ever been in. I’ve promised myself that. So, 2009, welcome! It’s gonna be a good year.