I bought a set of scales today which is a big step for me, but with joining the challenge of at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans (go check 'em out!), I thought it just made more sense than having to drive to my parents' every week. So I was all set to talk about how both excited and frightened I am about having scales in my house (I think they're staring at me even right now), and my brother went and ruined it.

Without going into details, let's just say that my relationship with my brother is strained. Since we were teenagers, we have fought a lot, but last year I thought we were really trying become closer since my brother now has a kid. Then a few months ago it all went to hell. I really don't want to go into the details of that horrible night, but let's just say that my brother should feel extremely lucky that I am even talking to him at this point because I honestly haven't forgiven him yet for what he did, and I really don't know when that forgiveness will come. Really, the ONLY reason I'm talking to him is so that I can still see my nephew. It's just like every time we're around each other, he finds something (intentional or not) to make me feel like a complete failure at life. For example: I recently admitted to my family that I'm no longer sure if I want children. Please don't get me wrong. I love kids. I'm good with them. I'm just not sure I want one. And because I've said that, you'd think that I threw all of my knowledge about kids out of the window. Hello!!!! I've changed more diapers, and fed more babies more bottles than my brother has. I even took care of 15 month old twins every day, 8-10 hours a day for 4 months when I was in college. I think I know what to do. And ok, I know it's his kid. I get it. I really do, but you don't have to treat me like I know nothing. So you know what? I'm not a failure at life. In fact, I think I've done a heck of a job in my life thus far. Just because it isn't how he would have done things means nothing to me. If all of our lives were exactly the same, the world would be extremely boring, wouldn't it? So, I refuse to let him make me feel like crap because I'm forever single or because I'm childless or because he makes more money than I do. Whatever, dude.

As a few of you know, I tend to hold things in until I'm ready to explode, so the fact that I didn't today is major (it's a personal goal for 2009). And having said all of that...whew...I feel much better now.

A couple of good things about today: Got a great big hug from my nephew, and I got a new cute coffee mug!! I love getting new coffee mugs!

posted under , |


Newer Post Older Post Home

About Me

My photo
I'm a walking contradiction. While I love to draw, paint and read, I also love all things gadgets, science and even science fiction (I know). My animals (two dogs and two birds) are my heart, and if I could figure out how to legally own a giraffe, I would. That all said, I have my BS in Mathematics. :o)


Recent Comments