Now that my nephew is starting to talk, I've started to think about things that my younger cousins have said through the years. Things that still make me laugh.
Like cousin, H. When she was 4, she and her twin brother J were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. J answers he wants to be a firefighter just like his uncle. H answers proudly, "I wanna be just like my daddy, I wanna drink beer and dip snuff." Oops.
Same cousin J, was in a church daycare. The teacher was teaching letters and words with, "Class, what word begins with the letter A..." The class responds, "APPLE!" .... The teacher keeps going, until she gets to, "Class, what word beings with the letter F?" J yells out, "F*ck!" His daddy was called into a conference that day.
Another cousin, A was playing on a playground when he was 3. My uncle says, "A, it's time to go." A doesn't listen. So, what do parents do when a 3 year old doesn't listen? You go get that three year old. A decided to hold onto the monkey bars with all of his might and when my uncle tries to get him off the bars, A yells, "You're breaking my arm! You're breaking my arm!" My uncle froze like a criminal. (He really wasn't breaking the kiddos arm.)
The first day of headstart was a rough one for cousin B. He was fine until he realized that his mama had left. He then runs to the door and while beating on the door with both fists, yells, "Wet me outta dis pwace! Wet me outta dis pwace!" We felt sorry for the kiddo that day, but now we laugh about it!
I'll even tell one on myself. Being the sickly child that I was, they forced me to get allergy shots for years. My dad HATES shots. He gets all lightheaded at the slightest thought of blood. But this particular day, he had to take me for my shots. Well, they called me up to the window, I roll my sleeve up like a pro and am already trying to decide which flavor lollipop I want. The nurse says, "Your dad doesn't like shots, does he?" I reply, "Nope, and he don't go to church, neither." Huh? (LOVE my grammar back then, don't you?)
My nephew already cracks me up with things that he does. We're still trying to break him of looking at his and shaking his finger while saying, "No! No! No!" I still have to bite my cheek to keep from laughing at him. And I know that this is only beginning...personally, I can't wait.
Now that my nephew is starting to talk, I've started to think about things that my younger cousins have said through the years. Things that still make me laugh.
I got a waffle cone because I knew Beth would want me to.
All in all, I did well. I missed my vitamin on the days that I was sick with whatever stomach bug I got from my nephew, and I may have missed a Sunday, which I used to do some before I got out of the habit of taking my vitamin. So, I think it's safe to say I'm back in the habit of taking my vitamin.
As far as my weight, I'm holding steady. I knew this time of year was going to be a challenge as far as weight loss. This is when I'm the most social. So, I know my problem here is food. And it really isn't going to get better for a few months because fall means FOOTBALL. Football means tailgates. And as healthy as the girls and I try to make the food, there's still some drinking going on.
So, I'm stuck in the 143lb area, but I have no right to be upset or cry plateau because it isn't a plateau. A plateau is when you're doing everything right and the weight doesn't come off. This is just me maintaining, which if you think about it, isn't a terrible thing.
Am I jumping for joy that I didn't make the best food choices? No, but I'm happy to maintain giving the circumstances. Also, I do promise to try my best to do well during this upcoming football season. Isn't that all any of us can do? Try our best?
So, how'd you do?
I've come to the conclusion that with the exception of a select few, I work with the most foul women on the planet. And it's really starting to annoy me.
I'm tired of walking into a stall in the restroom and seeing that all the TP hasn't been flushed. People, I realize that the toilets have automatic flushers, but seriously, pay attention. Sometimes even with automatic flushers, a second flush is required.
And really, how hard is it to make sure the paper towels make it into the trash can? It's a pretty big trash can. But should you miss, just pick up YOUR dirty towel and toss it.
I'm not even going to go into the gross stuff that I have seen.
Today, though, was the icing. I realize that it doesn't help that I don't really care for the girl I'm going to describe to you, but honestly, had it been anyone, I would have thought the same thing. Except most people with any kind of sense at all would not have been caught dead doing what I witnessed today. (Still not going to the gross stuff, folks, take your mind out of the gutter.)
This morning, I walk into the ladies room turn the corner and see nothing but belly. Bare belly. This girl had her top tucked under her chin, and was adjusting something (I don't know what) while checking herself out in the mirror. And I'm not talking about "she was making sure that she didn't have toilet paper stinking out of her hiney" checking herself out. She was making sure something looked hot, and I really don't want to know what. This isn't the first time I've walked in the restroom with her checking herself out, but previously, I didn't have to witness her belly.
And as if that wasn't enough, she looked at me as if I had rudely interrupted her. Seriously? It's a PUBLIC RESTROOM.
Now, I fully admit to having to go to the restroom to make adjustments before. However, I go into the stall. I most certainly do not pull my shirt up to my chin, adjust, and check myself out in front of the mirror.
Am I wrong here for being annoyed? If so tell me. But I really don't think it's too much to ask to be able to go to the restroom without having to see TP except for coming out of the holder or paper towels on the floor or having to see anyone's belly.
I know the quality is poor, and you may get a migraine from how shaky it is, but I just have to share. This makes me laugh every.single.time. he does it. Oh, and don't look at the kitchen mess, k? Thanks!
I have to say, one thing that I love about my work friends is that we can talk about anything and never get offended. No subject is off limits. Some days we talk about serious things, others we just laugh and have a good time.
Today was no different. I'm not sure how we got on this subject, but we did. And it stayed there. By the time I asked my question, we were already knee deep (pun intended) in the conversation, so I thought I'd just ask:
"So, do you guys know what a butt growl is?"
Now, I am positive that every one of you know what this is and have experienced it. If you deny it, you're lying. I'm sorry, but it's true.
Have you ever been out, when the, um, time arises? Yeah, I'm talking about #2 people. But you can't because well you're out. Around people. So, you have to hold it. Except your body doesn't want to, and all of a sudden you get this growl in the bottom of your abdomen. This also can happen if you have gas.
If you have the luck that I do, then usually you're close enough to someone when the butt growl occurs, and they hear it. You see them glance at you, and you SWEAR that you are starving and that your stomach is growling. Except that it isn't your stomach growling, and you know it, and you're so very embarrassed.
And that, my friends, is a butt growl.
PS. I hope I don't lose any followers because of this post. It's meant to be funny. I swear.
It's a very old cemetery. While some of the resting places are new, some are very old with nothing more than rocks as headstones.
Some head stones are big and some are small. (PS. That's the house I grew up in there in the background.)
And that's my You Capture for this week.
My junior varsity year in basketball was a rough one. Even though we were talented, we were a young team. (Note: I was not one of those talented folks. I had to work very hard at basketball, but I was lucky to have the gift to really "see" the game, and through hard worked, worked my way up to being the sixth "man".)
Our coach knew that we wouldn't win many games, and he also knew that he had a very competitive group of girls on his hands, so no matter how much we lost by, he would never talk about the negative right after the game, but rather he would focus on what we did right. Then at practice we would focus on what we needed to work on.
One game in particular, we played like we never had, and in the fourth quarter, I was certain we had a chance of winning that game. We all could feel it, with 2 mins left in the game we were only down one, and we were running our best offense. The girls on the bench were on the edge of their seats, and those of us on the court were playing our asses off. We wanted this win so much.
We lost by two.
But our coach was so excited when we met as a team in the locker room. He was acting as if we won. We were all like he had lost his mind, didn't he notice the score? But he said that he had never been prouder of us, and that we didn't lose that game. The only thing that didn't go our way that game was the score, and so he was declaring that game a moral victory.
Last week was a rough week. I had a stomach bug and was in a serious work out funk. I didn't eat as well as I could have. I did remember my vitamin except for the days that I was sick, though!! Despite all of those bad things, I was able to keep enough control to only gain. 0.4lb, and my mostly over my funk. So, I'm declaring last week a moral victory. And now it's back to work.
So, how did you do? Great I hope! Wanna see how others did? Head on over to the Sisterhood.
Mom: Your dad is already trying to decide which playground to get Clay.
Me (looking up from the Target sale paper. You KNOW that's a Sunday must read.): What? A playground?
Mom: Yeah, you know like one of those big wooden playgrounds.
Me: You're kidding. He's 17 months old!
Do you know what my brother and I had as a "playground" when we were kids? One of those little metal swing sets. Not only that, but my dad refused to anchor it into the ground, so we couldn't swing high without fear of turning it over. (Which we most certainly DID NOT try.) And during hunting season, this became the place in the yard where the deer were gutted. I watched it many times. Don't get me wrong, I loved my swing set (except for the deer gutting part) but it was no big wooden playground.
Okay, let's talk this out, shall we? If you're a parent, I know some of you have witnessed the same thing that I have. It is one of the most fascinating things I've ever seen.
Let me say, that I'm not jealous in any way. I love my nephew very much and love buying him things and taking him places, but I sit and watch my dad with Clay, and I think. Who the hell is this man?
And don't let my mom fool you. She's the same way. Clay is in constant need of a new toy. You should have seen the load the kiddo got for Christmas. Oh, and did I mention he has his own room at their house?
I know they just love him and are just being good grandparents and it really is sweet to watch, but these are not the people that raised me. They've transformed into mush. I just sit there in awe while watching them with him. All I can really do sometimes is shake my head.
I'm sort of convinced that aliens came and took my parents away and replaced them with these two people called Grandma & Grandpa.
That's it...as soon as he can clearly ask for things, I'm teaching him to ask them for a pool.
I smile so wide when he tries to "help" with something like folding laundry.
He's just so darn cute, I can't stand it.
Romeo & Juliet with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio has to be the dumbest movie ever made.
Yes, that's what I have on right now, but that's beside the point.
I took pride on being a Star Trek fan. Until a friend gave me Star Trek Scene It for my birthday. We played it this evening. I realize that a Trekker, I am not. This only bothers me a little as I'm not really wanting to buy a costume.
Not that I would do that or anything.
Can you prove that 2 + 2 = 5? I can. And no, that isn't a typo.
Is it football season yet? I need a tailgate. BAD.
Speaking of, I'm part of THE BEST tailgate in the world. Seriously. Don't believe me? You are all invited!
Since you're wondering, I'll save you the trouble of asking. I'm a VA Tech Hokie fan for college football. Pro's : I like the Steelers, but that's mostly because Pittsburgh is one of my favorite cities. After the Steelers, I like the Redskins.
When I was a kid, every Sunday afternoon, I'd put my Joe Theisman shirt on and cheer on the Redskins with my dad.
I believe in ghosts/spirits. I've seen 'em. I know this probably makes me weird.
Usually when I go to the post office, I use the one near my office downtown. Today, I had to pick up a package at the post office where my mail comes through. I had no clue that "my" post office was right in the middle of the 'hood. I admit to being a little scared. At 11 a.m.
Ever been thrown a curve ball in life and not really know what to do or how to think and to be, oh, so totally confused that you'd just like to disappear for a while? Yeah, me neither.
I have two huge projects ahead. One, I cannot talk about just yet. ;o) The other is a mural that I've been hired to paint. I'm excited and NERVOUS. It's the biggest paying art job I've ever had, and what if I eff it up? I haven't even worked on the sketch for this mural yet.
Wait-you didn't know I paint? My bad. You can see some of my work here. Enjoy!
No, I've never taken a class (outside of what I had to take in junior high school) for art.
Seriously, is it football season yet?
So, I guess that's all I have for tonight...
In case you didn't know, I'm still fairly new to the blogging world as I've only been blogging routinely for 7 months now. It took me a while to get used to the idea of commenting because I didn't want to leave dumb sounding comments. (I can be shy like that sometimes.) But one thing popped out at me immediately as I was reading blogs and comments back in January.
I'm not sure which blog I was on, or what post I was reading, but I'll never forget the comment I read. It said: "Great post, hooker!"
I thought, Is she being sarcastic? That's kind of rude to call her a hooker. Who are these people?
Then I saw things on other posts and twitter that said things like:
"Read my blog, hooker!" and "I love you too, hooker!"
OH!! I get it! Being a hooker is a good thing! How do I become a hooker? I wanna be a hooker, too.
I found out quickly that to be a hooker, a few things were required. You have to love to laugh. Even if it's about stupid things. It's also great if you have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy. Cussing is a plus but not necessary. (I was told at breakfast in Chicago that the non-cussing hookers live longer.) And you have to love your other hookers. (Hey, hookers! Am I leaving anything out?!)
I'll never forget the first time I was called a hooker. I was having an email chat with Christy and Melissa. Okay, fine we were ranting about a very mean and ugly person we had come across. At the end of the rant-I mean chat, Melissa said something like, "I'll talk to you hookers later!"
Aww, did she just call me a hooker? That's just so sweet!
As Lisa posted at the end of this post, hooker is a term of endearment for us. It means we love each other. We're all sisters from other mothers. Um, or something. ;o)
I have never been more honored or privileged in my life to be called a hooker. I love being a hooker, I hope I'll always be a hooker, and I most definitely love my other hookers.
I should have stayed away. I should have looked down at those sad, weak brown eyes whose arms were raised for me to pick him up and bent down, kissed his head and left. But I didn't.
How could I? This boy who has stolen my my heart every day of his little life was sick and just wanted some comforting from his Aunt April. I picked my nephew up, and he looked at me and puckered up for a kiss. Oh no. No, April! Don't do it!
I obliged. And now whatever nasty bug he had, I've got.
I haven't decide which kind of stomach bug is worse. The kind that makes you puke, or the other kind. Both are equally nasty, but honestly I'd almost rather just puke than to have my stomach cramp and moan and roll and rumble. Either way though, there is no appetite, really. (I realize that's probably TMI. Sorry. Sort of.)
How does this relate? Well, I lost this week, but I know it's because of how I'm getting rid of everything I take into my body.
So, last week's weight was 144.6 and this week's weight is 143.0.
I should be thrilled because technically this allows me to get my 10# button, but since I'm not sure if this will stay off after I'm back to normal and starving, I'll leave the button off for now.
As far as my 21 Day Challenge to take my vitamin. I just can't choke it down right now, but as soon as this goes away, I'm back on it. I promise!
Also, head on over to the Sisterhood and check out how everyone else did this week!
Okay, this was requested quite some time ago, and I know I suck for taking so long, but here we go:
For the purpose of this story, I’m going to change names a little bit. And settle in. It’s a long one.
When my brother was 8, I think, he began to play Rec Club football, and it wasn’t long until my parents became really good friends with my brother's head coach and his wife. It just so happened that they had two boys, one my age (12) and one who was 3 years younger than me. We’ll call them John and Mark.
For years, we spent every Saturday evening together. We would all go out to dinner, then head on back to either our house or their house. It became tradition.
I think through the years, everyone thought that John and I would end up together, which cracks me up because he’s never been anything but like a brother to me. And well for a long time, Mark was just a little kid.
Then I started college, and while I lived at home throughout college, I stopped going to dinners, and so did they (they were high schoolers now afterall and too cool to be seen with their parents.)
When I was 19, my mom, brother and I had planned to go to the beach with John, Mark and their mom. It had been months since I had seen Mark, and when we got to their house the morning of vacation, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
He was taller and older and my heart jumped. This was totally and completely wrong. He was THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. So, I tried to ignore my heart and we had a good vacation. Okay, so maybe I almost had a few heart attacks while we were there. Especially when we did the skycoaster together, and he told me that I might want to hold his hand.
After that life went on, but I made more excuses to go to his house after that and for the rest of my college years. Every one of his high school girlfriends HATED ME. I wouldn't say we flirted on purpose. It was just how we were. If we were near each other, we were touching in some way. Either a hand on the shoulder or our arms would touch while we were sitting at the dinner table.
At some point during that time, I really fell in love with him. I knew in my heart we would end up together. I was so positively sure of it.
One day, I decided to test the waters with his mom and asked her how she felt about the girl being older. Her answer was that she didn’t have a problem with it if the girl was, say 23 and the guy, say 20. (Was she telling me something?)
So, I waited. I played the patient friend. And then one day, I was 23, and he was 20. And I choked.
I couldn’t tell him how I felt. I just couldn’t. Even though I was pretty sure that he felt the same way. I mean I valued his friendship, and what if I lost that? What would our parents think? If we got together and broke up, would that affect our parents’ friendship?
Things stayed as they were. When I would walk into his house, his face would light up and my heart would jump. Sometimes it was like no one else existed but us. One day I caught his dad watching us very closely, and thought, OMG does he know?
Then, I moved out on my own. Didn’t hang around the family much. Made new friends (bad friends, but that’s another story.) One Saturday night. I went to dinner with our parents (they still kept the tradition.), and his mother told me that she was worried about Mark. He just broke up with a girl, wasn’t getting out much, and she gave me his number. (Was this a blessing?!)
With my heart pounding I called. I went over to the house he just bought. We had some drinks and played with his new German Shepherd puppy, and it just felt right. We hung out a few times more after that, and each time was a blast. I felt like even though we weren’t really dating, we were seriously getting to that point. I knew he felt the same way as I did.
Then SHE entered. He was introduced to her by a friend, and I had to find out from his mom that he went out on a date. I left his parent’s house that day in tears. The story I had been told was completely different. He had seen my brother out that night. My brother said he had talked to Mark, and he insisted that it wasn’t a date. That they were just hanging out. Whew, right?
The calls to me stopped, and she started coming with him when our families would get together. She would put on a fake face with others around then talk to me as if I were complete dirt if we were alone. I was dying inside, but I was trying to be happy for him.
Four months after meeting her, he proposed. I was crushed. To make matters worse, I was expected to attend the wedding. I'm quite certain that a part of me died on his wedding day.
Now, Mark is not happily ever after. He’s in a marriage in which every day is a struggle for him. Or so I’m told. And while it’s hard for me to feel sorry for him, I can’t help but to still hate her guts.
You could sample beers in 8 oz samples or tiny little 4 oz samples that we called "tiny little beer shots".
It left me in such shock, I don’t know how I’m able to speak.
I picked up my phone, clicked on Twitterberry,
And what I saw next made me very wary.
Nothing, happened, the damn thing just sat there.
What the hell, Blackberry, I thought you care
About my addiction to that thing called Twitter,
And now you’re just going to sit there like a quitter?
But come to find out, it wasn’t my phone at all.
It was some dumbass attack that caused Twitter to fall.
Okay, no problem, call out the S.W.A.T. team,
Fix Twitter, and I won’t have to scream.
But, no. Nothing at all from Twitter all day.
I actually had to work, you believe that? I couldn’t play.
Today was no better, I didn’t see one tweet while at work,
I was ready to quite literally go beserk.
Twitter, why, OH, why can’t you just fix what’s going on?!
A world without you just seems so very wrong!
Please just fix whatever the hang up is now;
I need my phone to update, will you just allow?
No. Dammit. What do I have to do?
Move to a different site? Will that hurt you?
If I go home and it doesn’t work, that’s it, we’re over.
Nothing will fix our friendship. Not even a four-leaf clover.
So, I get home today, ready to leave one of my favorite sites,
And you could tell, it was thinking with all of its might.
And my homepage popped up. I could see everyone’s chatter
Nothing this evening could have made me happier!
Now, Twitter, we can still be friends
Our relationship doesn’t have to end.
But, hey, while you’re at getting things back to pretty,
Can you do me a favor and banish that HornyKitty?
Thanks so much, for that, I’ll send you flowers.
Sincerely, @aprilshowrs .
To really get a sense of me(and where I'm going with this post), I have to take you back two years. This was me two years ago:
Approximately two months after this picture was taken, I decided to change my life. Somewhere in the middle of fixing my outside, I realized that I needed to fix the inside. I saw that I was merely going through the motions of life. I was barely surviving and was holding onto things that kept the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was not happy.
So, I decided to take a deep look within myself.
I learned that life could be fun. I learned that life wasn't always going to be perfect, and that is okay.
To see more You Captures, head on over to I Should Be Folding Laundry! Do it now. :o)
I took the week that I went to Chicago off completely. Then last week, I got back to exercise and watched my food, but wasn't militant about it. So, I'm not surprised to see that I'm up to 144.6.
Now, it is that time of the month and I'm feeling seriously bloated this morning, so that could explain the gain. I want to think that's what it is because I've been literally working my tail off doing the Chalean Extreme work outs. You can follow along with me on my Chalean Extreme journey here if you want!
Next, we're not in a weight loss challenge right now at the Sisterhood, but we are challenging you to create a new habit in the next 21 days. My new habit? To take my vitamin!! I'm so bad about it!
So, how have you been friends? It's been a while since we've chatted. Are you creating a new habit? Talk to me!
Weight two week's ago: 144.0
This week's weight: 144.6
Why do I let him bother me?
Why can't I just ignore the stupid comments that he makes?
How is it that he knows just which buttons to push to make me so unbelievably angry that I could bite a nail in two?
Most of the time I can treat my brother with indifference. After all that has happened between us, indifference is the best I can offer right now. But every now and then, he will push a button and it's either scream or go home.
And rather than scream, I go home.
I miss out on time with my nephew because I can't stand to be around my brother for another second.
My mom wants us to be friends so badly. She always used to say, "Please, just try to get along." Then, 8 months ago she stopped. Because of that one night. She knows that it will never be.
I love my brother (even though some days I say I don't), but I do not like him right now, and I don't know when I will be able to like him again. My heart hurts thinking about that. It leaves me raw inside.
Maybe one day I can forgive, but right now, it's just not in me. So, he gets indifference.
Today, I let him bother me. But I will not let this turn into a bad mood. I will not let him control how I feel. I will not let him ruin what is left of this day.
For now, I will go back to indifference.
Charlotte used to like to lay between my knees. I'm not sure why, but that was her favorite spot. If you tried to deny her this spot, she would scratch at your legs until you widened them enough for her to crawl between.
It has now been a little over four months since Charlotte passed. I cried every day for the first week or so. Then I would only cry when I tried to talk about her. Now I would say that I smile wistfully when I think of her.
I realize Charlotte was a dog. But she was my dog. My first dog. I have no husband or boyfriend (that's a whole other post, let me tell you.), and I have no children. So, I put a lot of energy into my animals because as much as they can annoy me at times, they make me happy. They give me comfort.
Bayleigh and I had a rough start. I was guilt-tripped by the pet store employee into buying her, and it was clear from Day 1 that Bayleigh had issues. She was the most nervous dog I've ever met, and she was scared to death of men. Any man, except my dad. I can't tell you how many times that I came home from work, and she had crapped all over the place. (For the record, she doesn't crap in the house anymore. If she did, one of us would not have survived the past 6 and a half years.)
One day, I had a friend take care of her so that I could go to an amusement park for the day. There was a note left for me when I returned. It read, "Your dog is a MONSTER."
The poor thing is afraid of her own shadow.
Yet, despite all of her quirks, I love her.
Since Charlotte's passing, Bayleigh insists on lying right by my side. (Right now, she's actually lying on my feet, smacking her mouth, and sighing with content.) This is not normal for Bayleigh. She likes her space. But almost every day since I lost Charlotte, this dog has been by my side instead of taking her normal place on the opposite end of the couch.
Now, I see the grey starting to show in Bayleigh's fur now. I know she has many years left, but it kind of makes me heavy hearted. Why do such beautiful creatures that have such deep and pure love for us have to leave us so quickly?
I know there's no answer. And I also know I can't imagine my life without a dog in it. So for now, I'll enjoy my Bayleigh-girl warming my feet (in July), and I won't complain (too much) when she eats the toilet paper.
- bad day
- bad jokes
- dreams are weird
- embarassing moments and stuff
- foul things
- good beer
- i love animals
- just write
- mother's day
- my life at thirty
- nc zoo
- random stuff
- shrinking jeans
- table topic tuesdays
- the pets
- virginia tech
- visting friends
- walking with dinosaurs
- winter 2010
- you capture
- I'm a walking contradiction. While I love to draw, paint and read, I also love all things gadgets, science and even science fiction (I know). My animals (two dogs and two birds) are my heart, and if I could figure out how to legally own a giraffe, I would. That all said, I have my BS in Mathematics. :o)
- ► 2011 (29)
- ► 2010 (47)
- Things Kids Say
- You Capture: Food
- Weigh-In Wednesday: End of 21 Days
- Restroom Manners
- This Just Makes Me Laugh
- Butt Growls
- You Capture: Peace
- Weigh-In Wednesday: A Moral Victory
- Grandma & Grandpa - mainly Grandpa
- Been a Long Time Since I've Gone Random
- On Being a Hooker
- Weigh-In Wednesday: It Only Half Counts
- My First Love - Per Request.
- Ode to Twitter
- You Capture: You
- Weigh-In Wednesday
- My Bayleigh-girl
- ▼ August (20)