You see, I have this spare glass slipper

I love the story of Cinderella. It's probably my favorite fairy tale. Despite using British accents in a movie that is set in France, one of my favorite versions of this tale is the movie Ever After. I've been thinking about this scene from the movie a lot lately:

Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?

Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.

Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?

This is totally how my mind works. Not just about love, but about EVERYTHING. I can't help it. Most of the time, my random string of hypotheticals somehow manage to turn into something logical, but it seems in terms of love, I'm still confused.

As soon as I think that I have love figured out, life decides to throw me a curve ball and I'm left thinking, "Well, now what?"

There was a time when I decided that I was not made for love. I was content with my decision, and I made it work for years. (Let's ignore the fact that I was afraid to face my fears and admit and accept what was in my heart, and that's why I made it work for years.) Now, I know that I was wrong. I don't want to spend my life alone. I capable of love. I think I'm good at loving. My heart is good. (And dammit, I'm a catch.)

If there is someone out there for me, then where is she?

I know I need to be patient and time, and I can be patient. (I think I can be patient.) But damn, this one has me stumped. I thought I had it figured out- or I thought it had figured me out. Whichever.

Maybe instead of wondering who/what/when, I need to start telling myself that someone IS out there, and it WILL happen one day exactly when it's meant to. The least I can do is give that line of reasoning a try, huh?

I guess now I know why I never played softball... I can't hit a curve ball.

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5 comments:

jen said...

you are totally made for love! and quite a catch.

Only a person made for love can let her mind wander the way your minds seems to go....hundred miles an hour...in a circle...and feeling it all, I see my daughter doing this...holy lightbulb

you're a good egg, april! HUGS!

much love, jen

Roo said...

She's there. You will find her. And I agree with Jen - you're a catch!

BTW, I love Ever After. Bunches.

imadramamama said...

You know. Somewhere, right now, there's another amazing woman asking the same questions you are.

Maybe she'll find you first.

Tiffany said...

I love that movie. And you will find someone. You are exactly what someone is looking for.

Midwest Mommy said...

It will happen!

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I'm a walking contradiction. While I love to draw, paint and read, I also love all things gadgets, science and even science fiction (I know). My animals (two dogs and two birds) are my heart, and if I could figure out how to legally own a giraffe, I would. That all said, I have my BS in Mathematics. :o)

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