I often wonder what life would be like if my sister were here. Would I be any different? Would we have a great relationship? How would growing up have been different? Don’t get me wrong, growing up with three boys was fun, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t long to have my sister. I’ve spent countless hours being angry and sad. I have been deprived of her, and that more than sucks. I even joined a sorority in college because I thought that it would show me what it was like to have a sister. While I made some wonderful friends through the sorority, I didn’t come away from it knowing what it was like to have a sister. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I just wasn’t meant to know. And then…

I re-connected with Jessie, a friend from childhood. I started hanging out with her and her sister, Rachael. I just love to watch the two of them together. They have little inside jokes, hilarious stories about growing up, and one always seems to know what the other is thinking. They are the best of friends. You can just tell how much they mean to one another. It’s amazing. Now, I realize that all sisters may not have this type of relationship, but I choose to believe that if my sister were here, we’d be like Jess and Rach. But what’s more important than that is that in the almost two years that we’ve re-connected, I’ve been lucky enough to have been included in this relationship. We have little inside jokes, we have hilarious stories, and they know me so well, it scares me a little bit. I can’t even express how much that means to me.

There will always be a tiny little hole in my heart for the sister I never got to know. And I think a part of me will always feel deprived. I know that I’ll never know exactly what it’s like, but I’m no longer sad. I’m no longer angry. I wasn’t lucky enough to have gotten to grow up with my blood sister, but I am extremely lucky to get to grow older with two sisters of the heart. Jess and Rach, thank you and I love you.

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Christy M. said...

April, that's such a wonderful post. I have 2 half brothers and 1 step brother, but no sisters either. I'll never know that blood sister relationship, but I do have several girlfriends that I could never live without.

Your comment about not growing up with a sister but growing old with your soul sisters really struck a chord with me!

Jessica said...

wowzers, this makes me want to bawl seriously happy tears! I'm blessed that you came back into my life and I love all our good times. You are totally a sister of my heart! big MWAH! I'll be your big sister anyday (and all days!)!

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I'm a walking contradiction. While I love to draw, paint and read, I also love all things gadgets, science and even science fiction (I know). My animals (two dogs and two birds) are my heart, and if I could figure out how to legally own a giraffe, I would. That all said, I have my BS in Mathematics. :o)


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